One of my favorite things about Scotland thus far has been the small group I have joined at church. It is obnoxiously placed late on a Tuesday night, and each week I find myself with a list of excuses as to why sleep or a proper dinner is a better idea. And yet, each week, I feel the silent nudge to return to small group. Not only has the Lord been faithful in providing sleep and time for food, but He has made small group a sweet, sweet time to gently speak to my heart.
The past few weeks, I have felt the Lord acknowledging something about me that I have known for awhile. I have a tendency to think of God only in light of negative qualities. Though I know deeply that the Lord is gracious, loving, and kind, I quickly assume that these characteristics of the Lord are not so pertinent to me. With many things in my life, I often assume that what the Lord wants for me must be the thing I don’t want.
I read a book called Radical, and it totally changed the way I saw my faith, in a good way. But I also allowed it to begin to fill my head with lies that in order to be serving the Lord I needed to be in the slums of Haiti or giving away every material possession I own. And don’t get me wrong, I’ll be the first one to tell you that I have learned a great deal from being in the slums of Haiti, and I believe there is real truth in being called to this kind of radical life. But the Devil is smart and cunning, and tends to trick me into seeing these good ideals as burdens. As if in order to be serving the Lord in a radical way I have to be miserable, that the Lord’s will is always big and scary and if things are going right I should just step back and wait for the wheels to fall off.
Many of you reading this probably think this thought process and crazy–and it is!
I recognize there is value in understanding the nature of fearing the Lord. However, I don’t think the Lord ever calls us to act or live IN fear.
This week I have been intentionally praying about noticing areas of my life in which I am bound by fear: planning for the future, relationships, day to day interactions.
Questions for myself that are maybe relevant for you to:
What does it look like to trust the Lord enough to know that any interview, application, test grade, position or title, can’t change or thwart his plan?
How do I live FREELY in the goodness of relationships and opportunities given by the Lord? What does it feel like to be discerning of lies and be intentional about receiving truth?
How would it feel to be so in love with Jesus, so completely dependent on His guidance for every move, that I ask first before I pass by someone on the street, enter any conversation, indulge in his blessings of food and sleep? How much more could I enjoy the blessings of the Lord if this was my mindset?
SO, short and sweet. That’s the prayer. To be SO in love with Jesus, that my every breath, step, thought, and word is naturally and yet intentionally infiltrated with a conversation with Him.
hows that for radical.
I would love to chat with anyone who has thoughts on this. And I would love to be praying for you, firstname.lastname@example.org